It's Thanksgiving Day — or Danksgiving for those who partake — and you're surrounded by your closest friends and family members. Mouth-watering aromas of roast turkey, mashed potatoes, mac 'n' cheese, and pumpkin pie emanate from the kitchen, signaling to your stomach that the best holiday feast of the year is almost ready to be served.
There's just one last and important step to help you prepare for the upcoming meal: the fabled Thanksgiving walk.
You might know it as the Cousin Walk
You may know the Thanksgiving walk by other names, like the Cousin Walk or the Pre-Thanksgiving Dinner Safety Meeting. Whatever you call it, the time-honored tradition remains the same: you round up all the trusted stoners at your gathering and go out for a quick and innocent walk before dinner.
Unbeknownst to everyone else, you'll also be blazing some sweet sticky-icky to supercharge your appetite.
Over the years, the Thanksgiving walk has evolved into a holiday cannabis tradition and cultural phenomenon, resurfacing every year on social media in the form of clever, relatable memes and reels.
These days, both stoners and (non-judgmental) non-consumers at the family gathering understand — it's basically a must before a Thanksgiving meal — how else could you get through three helpings? Clearing plates puts a smile on grandma's face, and the way we see it, the fewer leftovers, the better.
How to prepare for a Thanksgiving walk
While planning a Thanksgiving walk may sound simple, successful execution requires careful consideration. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when planning a walk so everyone stays comfortable and enjoys the day.
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Know your crew
We all have that one cousin who flies their stoner flag high. Of course, they're leading the pack during the Thanksgiving walk.
But what about the uncle who showed up to last year's family reunion smelling a little skunky? He's going to need a lowkey invite.
Also, if someone is joining for the first time, make sure they're playing it cool. You don't want to be doing a vibe check amid a Thanksgiving walk, so we suggest locking in your crew ahead of time and ensuring everyone is prepared and aligned on the execution strategy.
Plan your exit and re-entry
The key to a successful Thanksgiving walk is seamlessly exiting and then re-entering the gathering — ideally without anyone noticing that you were gone in the first place. To do this, we recommend selecting a signal, like a hand motion or a covert group text, so that everyone in the crew knows it's time to mobilize. Another good idea is to “conveniently” forget an item in your car and walk out to get it.
We also suggest that everyone take a different exit out of the room to avoid raising suspicion or attracting uninvited followers. We also use that same approach when everyone returns. Sneaky, sneaky.
Choose your cannabis products
- Pre-rolls are the ideal smoking devices to pass around a group — they're ready to go and can be easily discarded before heading back to the house to eat — but they can leave your fingers and clothes smelling a little suspicious. There are ways to minimize this, such as using a glass joint holder, but keep in mind that anyone with an acute sense of smell will still likely detect some funky aromas.
- Edibles and infused beverages are a great option as long as everyone knows their THC tolerance and ideal dosage. They're especially handy if you can't sneak out for a walk. While edibles are more discreet, everyone's body processes them differently, and a family member's high could kick in at a less-than-opportune time. Just remember to consume early enough so you're sufficiently blazed when it's time to eat.
- Vape pens can keep your fingers from coming in contact with any fragrant, sticky cannabis material. If you prefer to inhale your cannabis and want to be as inconspicuous as possible, you could probably hit one of these in the bathroom (with an open window, of course) for easy re-ups in between plates.
Pro tip: Designate someone in the crew to visit the dispensary and pick up products for everyone on Green Wednesday — you'll score the best deals and be fully stocked for Thanksgiving Day. If you've got a real squad of stoners, make it a potluck of shareable products.
Pick the right setting or route
Where you go on your walk is an important factor to consider. After all, research shows that set and setting can impact your high, similar to psychedelics. This can also influence your exit strategy, giving you a believable excuse for leaving the gathering briefly.
One Weedmaps employee shared their tried-and-true method:
"My go-to excuse is to say that we forgot an important ingredient for dessert and we need to make a quick run to the grocery store. We never actually get in the car but take a quick loop around the block on foot. Then, when we return, we regretfully inform people the store was closed."
This approach can be used in various ways, such as saying you forgot something in your car, going on a last-minute beer run, or announcing loudly that you'll grab something from the basement fridge. We suggest staying on foot and in an open space with lots of fresh air. Whichever route you pick, you don't want to come back smelling like you've hotboxed a car.
Cover your tracks
Assuming you've done everything right up to this point, the only thing you need to do now is cover your tracks. This can be accomplished with:
- A vial of eye drops, like Rohto Redness eye drops
- A subtle, fresh fragrance (Febreze or perfume/cologne) to mask any potential odors
- For those with longer hair, throw it in an updo so the smell doesn't linger
- Purchase or make your own sploof
- Try not to burst into uncontrollable giggles at the dinner table — easier said than done
What to do if you're the only one who consumes cannabis
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If you find yourself as the black(or green) sheep at a Thanksgiving gathering, don't fret. You have several options available to you.
- Go on a solo walk: While this may sound daunting at first, the experience can be quite liberating. According to a Weedmaps staffer and self-identified Thanksgiving walk expert, “Your fate is completely in your hands when you go on a solo walk. It's up to you when you walk, where you walk, and what products you consume along the way. So embrace the freedom and toke to your solo stoner's heart's content.”
- Invite someone to tag along: Of course, you run the risk of that person bursting back into the house and telling everyone how amazing cannabis makes them feel, but then again, maybe it's a message other people at the gathering need to hear.
- Sneak off to the nearest bathroom for a quick reprieve. Don't forget to cover the gap at the bottom of the door with a towel. If you want to conceal the smoke, blow it into the toilet, flush, wash your hands thoroughly with soap, and spray an air freshener. If anyone asks, you can just say there was a skunk on a rampage outside.
Bottom line
Whatever you call it, your Thanksgiving walk is a tradition that adds to the holiday vibes and helps bring your friends and family closer together. Just follow our pro steps to a highly enjoyable walk, and don't forget to save room for dessert.
