Granola Funk

Granola Funk – The Woodland Breakfast Every so often, the Hermit wakes before sunrise and prepares breakfast for guests who may or may not actually exist. Granola Funk, a peculiar cross of Forum Cut Girl Scout Cookies and Wookie 15, fills the shack with the smell of fresh-baked goods, wild herbs, and something considerably funkier simmering beneath the sweetness. The flowers are dense and generously frosted, carrying shades of forest green beneath a thick dusting of crystalline resin. Break them apart and the morning spread unfolds—sweet cookie dough, toasted nuts, and soft vanilla mingle with lavender and sharp grapefruit before deeper notes of coffee, damp earth, and diesel creep out from underneath. It's equal parts bakery, forest floor, and fuel can. On the inhale: nutty cookies, vanilla, and bright grapefruit. On the exhale: lavender, roasted coffee, earthy funk, and a lingering trace of diesel. Granola Funk is a backwoods breakfast. A bowl of beautiful confusion. The Hermit always sets an extra place at the table—he refuses to say who it's for.