I am 56 years old, I smoked weed for 20 years between 1976-1996. I grew for 5 years in the 80's. I quit for 17 years because it was too expensive. I worked hard my whole life, I would get high and it was like I was on speed or something and bust my balls working. I got a lot done but at the expense of my health. My wife and I got together when we were just 19 and within 7 months we got married. We were inseparable for many years. She had cancer 3 times, the last time she didn't pull through and she passed away on Halloween 2013. This was about more than I could handle.To me she was the most beautiful woman in the world, my soul mate, my reason for being. It has been almost 5 months now, the pain is easier but it is still overwhelming. I still can't function normally. My wife had a stroke 3 years ago and since that time I have been taking care of her. We became incredibly close during that time. After her death I became friends with weed again. I have been on pain pills for over 10 years, since I started again I have cut my pain drugs in half. I am on oxygen so I try to use a vaporizer as much as possible for my choice smoking. I live on SSI so life is little more difficult. I just wish that I had my best friend to share everything with.