Sometimes I get high is a series about the activities you do or things you think about when you're high, in deep detail, for the fun of it.
It was Saturday afternoon, and I was freshly stoned off of several dabs while my apartment was a mess. I knew I had to clean, but being high out of my mind was just shy of motivating me to get off the couch. I needed music. Something upbeat that would carry me from my high stupor to productivity. I told Siri to shuffle my music library, and the first song that played was none other than 2 Chainz's hit, “Bentley Truck.”
Instantly, I felt a strong desire to grab my broom and my cleaner and go to town on my apartment, but when I got up to get started, I was overwhelmed by an even stronger sense of déjà vu. Something about 2 Chainz rapping the words “Bentley truck” sent me deep into reverie and vague familiarity. I wasn't thinking about cleaning anymore, dust bunnies be damned. I grabbed my laptop and began scouring the internet — I needed to know where that feeling was coming from. I felt like one of the Goonies.
A short time into my search, I stumbled upon a YouTube clip from Hannibal Burress's most recent stand-up special Miami Nights (2020) where the comedian broached the very subject that burned at the forefront of my mind. My déjà vu was validated: “Bentley Truck” was hardly the first time 2 Chainz had rapped about the vehicle.
Burress started off the bit by recounting an episode he did with 2 Chainz for Viceland's Most Expensivest Sh*t, during which Burress asked 2 Chainz a seriously important question I never knew was on my mind until I heard him ask it: “Do you feel pressure to wear multiple chains all the time?” Hard-hitting shit right there. 2 Chainz's response to Burress? “Shut your high ass up.”
No doubt a disappointing deflection, but perhaps the pressure he felt to wear multiple chains all the time was too much for him to bear talking about. Unfortunately, we'll never know.
Burress went on to talk about 2 Chainz and the Bentley truck, which reminded me why I began my research in the first place. He recited the lyrics from 2 Chainz's feature on Wale's song “Get Me Doe” (2012):
“Long hair, I don't give a fuck / Last night I prayed that God would make a Bentley truck”
I laughed in disbelief — I was correct in my feeling that 2 Chainz had mentioned the Bentley truck multiple times. And this line suggested that 2 Chainz wanted a Bentley truck so badly that he got down on his knees and asked God himself to make one for him. But Burress was not finished. Next he played another clip, this one from 2 Chainz's feature on Young Jeezy's song “SupaFreak” (2011):
“Laying in the bed and I still got my semi tucked / Going online like 'When they gon' make that Bentley truck??”
I am stunned. The divine, materialistic story of 2 Chainz and the Bentley truck goes back nearly a decade. For 10 years, 2 Chainz has been waiting and praying to God for Bentley to create a truck.
There was only one question left burning in my high-ass brain: did 2 Chainz ever get his Bentley truck?
First I needed to find out if Bentley ever even made a truck, and I found out, of course, that Bentley debuted the Bentayga SUV in January of 2015 and it has since been on the market. Now, the Bentayga is commonly referred to as the “Bentley truck.” The most recent Bentayga, the New Bentayga, is the most adaptable, powerful, and technologically smart Bentley truck imaginable. There was no question in my THC-laden brain that 2 Chainz scooped it up as soon as it was available.
I found out in a 2019 article on HotCars.com, that the eight most impressive cars in 2 Chainz's tricked out automotive repertoire did not include a Bentley truck. I was confused. Why wouldn't 2 Chainz take advantage of God's answers to his prayers? I was still convinced he did, I just needed proof.
So I searched keyword after keyword, but the only connection between 2 Chainz and the Bentayga appeared to be through his — now potentially empty — lyrics. But 2 Chainz is a man obsessed with the Bentley truck, so of course, he had to have been one of the first people to get it off the line the first time it debuted … Right? Nope. A 2016 TMZ article reported that none other than Meek Mill — not 2 Chainz — bought the Bentayga fresh off the line for a cool $380,000. I couldn't — and still can't — get over this. Where in the hell was 2 Chainz? Did no one call him?
He was on his tour bus, as it turned out. 2 Chainz told Complex in a 2012 interview that he decided to give up driving himself places and took the advice from Nelly who had told him to buy himself a tour bus using the money he was going to use to get a Bentley truck. I was not taking the ending to this story well. “Bentley Truck” is a hoax; it's a spectral, hollow song steeped in materialistic lies. Why pray to God? Why rap about a truck that you clearly didn't really want? I've sat on this stone-cold bummer for weeks now.
I still haven't cleaned my apartment, and I'm not sure I ever will.
Featured image Jamie Lamor Thompson/Shutterstock