Is it just me, or does the time feel exceedingly right to disappear into the woods for a few hours and get astronomically high?
The howling winds of uncertainty have all but blown 2020 to smithereens. It's enough to make a person need reminding of how fleshy and insignificant their timelines are when compared to an endless forest or a mid-city wetland. Which is to say, losing one's self in nature is a singular form of self-care. And since we are unequivocally in the era of self-care, let's take a few deep breaths, strap on our fanny packs and face masks, and get hiking with these eight exhilarating and mollifying strains.
Remember, your endocannabinoid system is like your fingerprint, totally unique to you. Keep in mind that the effects described below may not line up across the board, and each person's experience is theirs alone.
Golden Pineapple is gently energetic and relaxing at lower doses, making it an agreeable complement to a low-impact, meditative stroll. At higher doses, it becomes psychotropic and effervescent, which is an exceptional way to evolve a meditative stroll into an intense birdwatching session.
Golden Pineapple's parents are Golden Goat and Pineapple Kush, so expect a funky fruit profile with savory herbal undertones and dense, sugar-dusted flowers. Either low-dose or high, the strain is a lovely accompaniment to both the outdoors and mild physical activity.
Clementine has a reputation for being borderline frenetic before coming into focus. Those two disparate effects come together exquisitely while navigating the wild outdoors — or your closest city park, whatever works.
Parented by classic sativa strains, Lemon Skunk and Tangie, Clementine takes after Lemon Skunk in terms of flavor profile and rubbery energy, but the distilled head high is boldly reminiscent of Tangie. Tangie flowers sparkle with fiery stigmas and sugary trichomes, and the strain is also a popular extract that makes for a mouthwatering vape.
Blueberry Headband is an animated strain that promises to put a pep in your step while being social. On a family hike around your closest Audubon Society (or commensurate nature park), it can potentially keep you fully engaged with both family and nature without ever stepping into giggle-fit territory.
The inherent hurdle in enjoying Blueberry Headband is in knowing that the name has been attached to a number of phenotypes. For our purposes, we refer to the Emerald Triangle Seeds variation, bred from a cross of 76 Blueberry, Emerald OG Kush, Cali Sour D, and Pre-98 Bubba Kush. The result is a hybrid that expertly straddles the line between euphoria and calm sociability without ever falling too far into either lane.
White Fire OG
Since the effects of strains tend to rely on the individual, reports vary on the effects of White Fire OG. For some, it's the quintessential wake and bake, for others, it's immediate couchlock. White Fire OG is borne of The White and Fire OG, both indica bent hybrids with caryophyllene and limonene forward terpene profiles. White Fire OG defies both its parents by (most often) boasting a bright and buoyant high.
If your chemistry allows it to hit with enthusiasm, opt for a hike with a moderate skill level. This strain has the potential to keep your body receptive and elastic while your mind wanders, which is kind of what we're going for here.
Sour Tangie's uncomplicated lineage from East Coast Sour Diesel and Tangie, the child strain is every bit as lively as one would expect, coming from two distinctly upbeat cultivars. What makes Sour Tangie singular is the burst of creative energy that accompanies its exuberant body high.
A trail with a suggestion of moderate skill level that might find you leapfrogging over fallen trees and encountering the occasional rogue blackberry thorn will bring out the best in your Sour Tangie experience.
Quantum Kush is already popular with enthusiasts of getting high and walking in the woods, respectively. It's a high THC varietal parented by Sweet Irish Kush and Timewreck, with a smothering relaxation effect that both soothes and elevates..
Any mild to moderate hike will activate the singular euphoria of Quantum Kush; a breezy waterfront or sunbleached beach where hikers can strip down on a hot day will most likely result in a “best day ever, best weed ever” type situation — and we could all use one of those every now and again.
The most accurately named strain on this list is Space Candy. The charmed child of Space Queen and Cotton Candy is both candy-sweet and extra spacey. This strain exists in the complex intersection of euphoria and delirium, making more moderate to difficult conditions — think narrow pathways and loose scrabble — feel like a Bear Grylls fantasy.
Space Candy's terpene profile is citrus dominant, but the underlying earthy notes add a sophisticated funk. Users should expect resiny buds flecked with red and purple, and a confectionary floral aroma that blooms into citrus at the exhale.
Bruce Banner #3
Hiking challenges are why Bruce Banner #3 may potentially be your perfect hiking strain. Maintaining focus, eschewing stress, and staying bouncy and energetic during vigorous physical activity and elevation gain are all hallmarks of this Bruce Banner phenotype.
Bruce Banner's storied lineage began in the labs of Los Angeles-based Dark Horse Genetics, where OG Kush and Strawberry Diesel cultivars were bred to produce five phenotypes. Numbers 2 and 4 were subsequently abandoned, while 1, 3, and 5 were selected for their high potency. Of those remaining phenotypes, #3 remains the most popular and widely available of the Bruce Banner strains. Expect a sharply herbal flavor profile, a tart, pungent mouthfeel, and a swooning onset that develops into a calm and creative euphoria.
Featured image by Dre Hudson/Weedmaps