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Weedmaps ∙ News ∙ Culture & industry

The Pains of a Stoner's Life, According to Twitter

∙ May 28, 2019   11:27 am PDT | Updated 4 years ago
Internet Culture    Listicle    stoner    Stoner culture    tweet    twitter   
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No matter where you are in the world of weed, you can always count on Twitter to provide timely, insightful, and just plain funny commentary that is joyously — and painfully — relatable. We all enjoy the stoner's life, but that doesn't mean it isn't fraught with its own set of challenges, trials, tribulations, and hilarious blunders.

Here are the must-see weed tweets that illustrate how it's hard out there for a stoner.  

When You Hit the Blunt Too Hard

Ah, the ancient art of holding it all in when you hit that blunt too hard — a necessary evil for generations of tokers.

Cereal: Friend or Foe?

The late-night munchies can be a true test of a stoner's home-navigation skills — especially when cereal is involved. From the kitchen cupboards to the pantry shelf, to the cold, dark cave under your sink — a stoner's domicile can become a minefield of places to absent-mindedly leave a carton of milk, loaf of bread, or a tub of butter when in the throes of a dank-ass sesh.

Can't Taste my Grilled Cheese with All This Racket

Speaking of munchies, here's something every seasoned stoner knows: Sometimes you get so lit you have to resort to some good ol' fashioned irrational behavior just to enjoy a grilled cheese.

Runaway Lighter

The elusive lighter — an essential stoner's tool so prone to disappearing it must have stood up and run away.

Wake and Bake Gone Wrong

A sadder sight we've never seen — the makings of a great wake-and-bake, swiftly changed by the cruel hand of fate into a puddle of broken dreams.

High as Duck

That goddamn autocorrect, amiright? Just when you thought your phone knew you well enough to know you're high AF often, and high as “duck” … never.

When You High AF and the Internet Becomes Rocket Science

Don't worry, you may be stoned, but eventually, you'll figure out how to use the Internet again. It may just take a few extra steps, such as staring deeply into the pixels on your screen for 20 minutes and typing out some nonsense.

Wherever You Go, Weed Will Follow

Wearing your stoner's badge with pride is one thing.

'Where my vape pen at?! Jk it's right here.'

Those pesky vape pens — second only to lighters in their ability to get lost and found, and lost and found again.

The Lighter Strikes Back

How many times has your lighter abandoned you only to hook up with your friends? You deserve better.

That 9-to-5 Life

Whoops. Honestly, though, your boss should have known better.  

A Major Solution to a Minor Inconvenience

When all else fails, light a blunt and don't let the small stuff get you down.

Andy Andersen is a writer who covers cannabis, film, TV and culture from his home in Long Beach, CA. You can read his work at whoisandyandersen.com and follow him on Twitter @andyjandersen

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